


Ranibows of Pure Joy

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal, Babies, Crack, M/M, Mpreg, Porn, Pre-Slash, Sex, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-10
Updated: 2012-07-10
Packaged: 2017-11-09 13:46:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/456119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock Crack where Sherlock and John Realize their love for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ranibows of Pure Joy

**Author's Note:**

> For Aspen, who inspired us creatively.  
> The second work by The Consulting Crack Addicts~  
> It kind of started and went downhill from there - shit just escalated.
> 
> We take crack requests/prompts! You can submit one to us at: consultingcrackaddicts.tumblr.com/ask  
> We'll post it on the blog and here on Ao3. :]

Sherlok walked into Bakers treat.  
“jawn i missed you today. cases is lonely without you” he said obnoxiously.  
But John dind’t care. He sat at the table (the one under that fugly cow) and IGNORED Sherock and all his bullshit.  
“i suppose you were sitting there all day” he remarked snidely “i can see it in your right hand that you were on that laptop for a great deal of time”  
“WHATVER SHURLACK” whipspered ohn, pleased he had cleaned up the ribbons of cum that had spilld all ovr the laptop screen and his pants wen he had ben... sitting ther all day.  
“JUN U KNO WHAT I SED ABOUT THAT” sherlick made a pouty face an stomped his foot on the floor. Jhon side-eyed him like wtf bitch, u dont kno my life.  
“Sherloak, not all of us are monks of celibacy. you metaphorically shoot all my girlfridns in the face, I gott aget off somehow.” He sounded angree. Shelcokc turned away, embarrassed.  
“Jwna” hE SAID. “I get off too.”  
“wutever juan i’m mad at u” sherloaf kicked of his shoes &sprawled himslef out face first into the coch. “i’m erver her if u want me” (dat mean he’s over here)  
Jawn had bn sittin dere, slackjawed.  
“Sheocl. You dont seem the tipe to do the one man tango?”  
“Well.” huffed Shirlck huffily. “in my spair time.” Jawn look at him wonderinly, his face an open picture book of his emotins - mostly arouzal but also undstadning.  
shirelock stared at jwan’s face. “wut, do yo not beleve me?” shrelcok peeled himslef off da coch n turned on the moozic player in the corner n started dancing. juhn wuz mezmerezed by the movements of sherlidz hips n stuff. “woa” sed juan.  
Sherloaf dacned over to Jahon and the table, shoving jhona’s laptoff onto the floor. The screen shaterred and exploded,but neighter of them notice. Little did they know, it were a metafor for what was about to CUM ;]. Sherloakk slid onot the table sexily and captures Jaown’s eyes, featsting on the lust and desire what he fuond ther.  
“sherjorkl” joan panted “u so smexy wen u dans liek that”  
“JOWN, I know, shhhhhhhh” Shelrock sed, pressin his fingers to Johns’ lucious lips.  
Jong shhh’d. They both secrelty sprouted an erection from their pants.  
jern stood up on his toez n pushed his mouth into shercloak’s. “omg ur lips taste liek jam” they kept kising n stuff when sudenly lestrudel started to knocking on the door. “um guise i need yer help bcuz therez bad dudes out there that r killing ppl so ya”  
“listrode we’re busy, k” sherock sed. “shirelick it’s a emergency” sherlok sighed n slid off da table “erndersin better not be there cuz he won’t work with me”  
“Jst get ur butt ehre ok?” sed Strudle, hopping away down the srtairs. Jawn looked furriously at Shlrock.  
“We aren;t downwith with conservation Sheriock damnit!” He said, grabbing his cout on the way out. Sherioke siged, and also put on his big cout too. He also put on the collar bcuz he wanted to look cool for Jahn and everyone else and also because he his fabulous~ and hates Adnson.  
Fuq that guy.  
“dam sherkol your doing the coller n cheekbones thing ‘gen” shelrok winkde an tide his scarf.  
“Shut up or get on my diq about it John.” He said.

~AT DA CRIMSCEEN~

“so, gerg, whattar the bad dudes doing n where r they?” sherlcok sed.  
“Well shrock, ders some dead people, and then another dead one over there aswell also” .He said, pointing. Sherlock scamperd to the dead bodeis, while john werkerd to hide his raging boner.  
“AHA!” Sherioocuck shouted.  
“whadar u finding?” lestrood asked.  
“well,“ sherhok started, “deres blood here so he was stabbed or shot or s/t i think. i think it was murder”  
jawan grinned and came in his pants a little. “izn’t he smart? das my boii”  
Sheirculk smiled cleverly and ponced over to Anderson.  
“Eat a dick Anderson.” He said.  
“WOW SHURAKC” Shouted Lerstred. “You’d bettr be right. Howd you known all that stuff?!” He asked, in aw.  
“Same shit, different day” Shergicl siad, before grabbing JOhn and strutting off to the taxis..

~IN THE TAXI~

“dam shrlok da way u solve all those cases is a rly big turn on y’know” jon scooched closer n ran his hand up an down sherlack’s thigh. Sheilork smirked and touched Joahn on the butt.  
“Ur my illuminator Johnk” he sed fluffily. jogn looke confused for a sec.  
“Yuo sleep with a nightlight sherlcok?”  
“NO JOGHN OMG DAST NOT WHAT I MEANED.” He went and sulked in the corner off the takci for the rest fof hte ridhe ohme.

~AT BRKER STREAT~

“so johan do u wanna pick up were we left off” sherloaf sed seductivly, sliding up on the table becoz he wernt angy anymoar (it wuz imposible 2 stay mad at jawn).  
“Come get me, tiger” He snarled seductibly in Jongs direction.  
joan pounced at sherloc liek a liyon an lied him down on the table so that they could has sexy times.

~sEXC TYMS~  
johng runned his hands down Churlacks buttons in his sexy shirt, undoing them intesnely as hewnt. Sherucjk sighed loudly in pleasure as his rosy pin kchest nubs wer tuched sloley.  
“o yes jwan” shorlik sed arching his back upwards as jahn rubed his chest nubs. He put his hands on Johns head and stroked the hair ther.  
Quikenang int their motions, they forced off each other slothes and then put theirs mouths on teach others bodeis. Johnf licked a wet stripe up Shrelock’s neck, which cauzd sherlock to left a wet stripe in hsi own panties.  
charleck rolled over abit so he wuz on top of jern n they both grewed erctions. “das imperesive, shrelck” jawn sed in a breathy voice.  
“u like that, jon?” asked the tall guy on top of him. he (jawn) replied with s/t that sounded like “aurrgharrh” an bucked his hips upwards.  
“Mmm Yeah!” said Shrelock, bitng down on Jahns Adam apples. They tuthced each outher on the butt, and thenf rolled off the table and onto the flooor, Jawnd landign on tonp. He shuved his erecton is the genral direction of shrelcokc’s erections. Shrelock liekdi it.  
“jwanh ur manhood is so impresve” he sed takeing both of them in hiz hand an pumped hiz fist up n down. jahn throwed hiz head back in pleasre n screemed loud enough to be herd in the cafe.  
“Shrelock” He wheezed, “I doan want to wait nemor.” Thier gazes locked instensely, as if their eyes were pressing togehter as hard as their cocks currently were.  
“Well Jawnf,” Shrlock purred, “Good thing /i have condims and loob right ehre.” He whipped them out of literally nowhere and Jogn got even harder in Chrelcok’s hands.  
chercolk ripped the condim rapper open n rolled it on. jon’s eyes grew wider in antisipashin. “r u ready for this?” sherklik asked as he left a messy trale of kissiz up jahn’s chest, but his eyes keeped traveling down to stare at sherelok’s peepee.  
“Hurry up shrelock!” He yelled arousedly. Having no further ado, Shrelock pushed into Jawnz butt with gay abandon and he yelled out passionately, “Oh my gooooOOOOOOOD!”  
shlerkik looked down at johan n smirked, pushing deeper in. “oh, SEHERLEK” he moand, wraping one leg around sehrlok’s waiest.  
They did that for a bit nd it was really repetictive, though they seemd to enjoy it so w/e.  
Finally, after like, a zillion hours of humping and weird sex noises, Jofgn was like  
“Chrelock! I’m gonna cum all over us and stuff!”  
so sherlck was liek “ok” n jern squirtd sticky cream ribbinz everywhere. And then Shrelock did the same, only in Jawnds butt, although it would bprobably akll drip out anyway, ew. They collapsed on the floor ina cummy heap, getting all sticky together.  
“OHhhh Janhg.” sighed Shhguck into Jonf’s neck. they did that for a bit too, and then went and had a shower and stuff and then they sat in the kitchenf - well, Sherlock sat while johng made t he teas for them b/c they just fucked heaps in the floor and now they wer thursty.  
So Anyway, Shrekck looekd over his tea at Hofn with shining eyes like globes of sparkling mirrors, the kind found in strip clubs.  
“Jogn” he said Lovingly. “I feel vry strongly abut you ok?”  
“Ok” says Jonf.  
“nd I tink if u wer my wifey I’d wanna ut a babhy in you.”  
“Oh, Shrelck” squeled HOgn, leanign over to Nuzzle shrelock in the face. “I luhv you, Churlck. You totally cray and it makes me watery in the kneex. I wnna Look at your pointy face errday.”  
Churlck took that as a complitment bcuz it came from jonb, so it had to b legit.  
“i lurveh u to, jam. are u ok with haveing a bby?” he asked cuz he luved jern n didnt wan make him do anything that he din’t wanna.  
“I doan know that I can, Shrelocj...” Jogn wasn’t sure, but he ws a doctor and knew he didn have a lady bit.s  
“omg John it’s called Mpreg.” Chruielck said bitchily even tho he lubbed Jawng.  
“Ohk” Sayd Jnho. “I’d like to bbz wit you cChrilock.”  
Shrelcik smiled like a proud papa to be. “And you can ptu onf in me too Jogn.” He dais eagerluy.

~AN THEN SUDINLY MPREG~

Dy rand off to the bedroom to put a baby inside eachother. It was a beuaitufl and many unicorns explosed in the sky from Ranibows of pure joy what comes with the inception of a Mprg babby. They lay in each othecrs arms, revelling in da happyniss of their new bbz, excited for the future and stuff. dey dnt rly relize that they ruchesd into the decision, but it was okay, b/c they’d wnated each otha for years enyway. They would make good daddies to their Mpreg babies who would b raized on deduckshins n jam. Ever1 was rilly excitd (even mycrift).

Johng nd Shrelolck layed therre on the bed, both newly mpreg, and planned how they woudl decorat the nursery (JOgnfs old room b/c he’s be sleeping in Shrelock’s room form now own). They talked way into the night, planning their hapypy bb future toghetr. Evenutally their Babies would be born, but that’s NOPTHER STORY.

~End~

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always appreciated. 
> 
> Info regarding requests/prompts can be found in the notes at the top.


End file.
